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butterflyThere is an inherent and mesmerizing beauty in leaving the Forbidden untouched. It is where feelings of gratitude and accomplishment merge as we realize that we have successfully surrendered, stilled/controlled ourselves, and valued who we are in Christ, which is a new creation. We are not doomed to stay the same or repeat the same old negative patterns. We are on a purposeful path of transformation. Still, while we should avoid the extremes of our past, we must also remember that we can only take “everything in moderation” so far. For example, you wouldn’t want your teens or adult children taking cocaine or having unprotected sex with strangers in moderation. It only takes one time for an overdose or AIDS diagnosis. Some things should never be done if we are to fulfill our purpose in life and leave a legacy worth remembering.

journalingTrying to figure out the “why’s” of you and your addictions to the greatest extent possible (through counseling, self-evaluation, journaling, etc) can provide you with beneficial tools in your goingplaid journey if you can find those answers. However, too often doing so will keep you running through the same vicious cycles because the focus is still on you instead of God. I’ve gained great insights along my journey, but no matter how hard I try, some things still remain without answer. There comes a point when you need to stop thinking/analyzing and “just do it.” Substitute submission for selfishness, stillness for striving, and self-esteem for slavery…all of which require that our focus be on God where it belongs.

puppetI allowed my low self-esteem, being overweight, and consequent poor health to plague me for way too many years. I was happy whenever I lost weight and felt pretty. But when I gained it back, I was a miserable, negative person who felt ugly and turned away a loving and handsome husband’s affection because I couldn’t fathom how he could still find me beautiful and attractive. As I write this, I’m still in the middle of my healing journey…much healthier than I was, but still having a long way to go. You don’t trash your body for 30 years and then expect to fix it in a few months. Part of that journey is learning joy, contentment, and freedom in God while still being overweight. While blame is something I was an expert at, I decided that I can’t continue to blame the monster that I helped to create, but I can help destroy it. As I cut the strings and leave all the addictive behaviors behind, I find that I am becoming as beautiful on the outside as I am becoming on the inside.

decisionAs I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed each year flying by faster. Every evening feels like it was only moments after the last evening. Every morning only moments after the last morning. The days will continue to fly…and I can choose to make poor decisions that keep me down and struggling or good decisions that help me to fly with ease through the winds of time. One day, I will look at myself in the mirror…whether I see someone sick and defeated or someone beautiful and vibrant will depend on how I decided to live each day. It all starts here and now. The law of attraction will claim many. As for me, I choose to live today by the law of substitution.

‘I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.’ – Philippians 4:12-13